Jessica Walsh

Did you see Timothy today?
For a moment.

What did y’all do together?
Our friend Julia was having a going away party, and we planned to go together. However, after a long morning at the gym, I was extremely tired. I strained a muscle after running five miles, and I just wanted to lay in bed and watch a movie. I asked Tim if he would mind if I stayed at home. He seemed kind of annoyed, but said he’d stop by instead. I felt really bad about it, but I can’t remember the last time I took a day off from work. Sometimes time enjoyed wasting is not wasted!

Did anything interesting happen?
He arrived at my door with a single red rose.

Did you learn anything new about Timothy?
The flower was incredibly sweet and romantic. Little gestures like this are very meaningful to me in any relationship. We hugged and kissed and talked about our plans for tomorrow.

Did you learn anything new about yourself?
This experiment has been crazy, and the self-reflection in therapy has not been easy. In combination with the headaches, it sent me over the edge last week. It’s unbelievable, but since changing my lifestyle last week, I feel almost entirely better. I run and do yoga every morning now. I am sleeping better, and the headaches are gone which makes me feel calmer. I am starting to feel like my normal self again, and I think it’s having a positive impact on Tim and me as well. I went into this experiment hoping to learn about relationships, but we’ve really learned and grown so much on a personal level as well.

How do you feel about this relationship/project right now?
Tim’s rose reminded my of my all-time favorite book, Le Petit Prince. I have several copies, but my favorite is this old vintage edition I found last year which I now keep by my bedside. I reread it today.

The story is about an adventurous prince who loves a little rose. The rose is naïve, proud, and doesn’t know how to admit her love back to the prince. Because of this, she accidentally drives him away. When she informs the prince of her love, it is too late. The Prince’s heart is already set on traveling the world. During his travels, he meets many adults of various professions. He comes to realize that most adults are narrow-minded and pragmatic. He realizes they are too preoccupied with wealth and power and other “serious matters,” and they miss the important things in life: beauty, friendship, self-discovery, imagination, open-mindedness, and love.

The Prince watches as adults rush from one place to the next, never able to appreciate the small wonders of the world right in front of them. Through his journey he begins to greatly miss his flower, and realizes the deep extent of his appreciation for her. While there are many roses out there, it’s his love for her which makes her so special and unique.

There are so many life lessons embedded within this beautiful story. St. Exupery suggests that the key to happiness is to stay inquisitive about life and to explore the unknown, with an acceptance that many of life’s questions will remain a mystery. The story emphasizes the responsibilities of our romantic relationships, and how they teach us about our greater responsibility to the world.

Is there anything that you want to do differently?
The story emphasizes that words are the source of misunderstandings, and that the truths in life defy explanation. Only our hearts can see them correctly. It makes me think about Tim, and how many misunderstandings we’ve had. We do deeply care for each other, but our opposing styles of communication cause unintentional stress between us. I started reading about these communication styles which are outlined in this book. I have an “affiliative style” and Tim has a “competitive style” of communication. This all makes me wonder. Do I really comprehend his true intentions and feelings, and does he understand mine? I should listen more to my heart. Does this feel right?

Additional comments?
A few favorite lines from Le Petit Prince to end the day…

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