Day Eight   /   lettering by Paula Scher

Jessica Walsh

Did you see Timothy today?
Yes.

What did y’all do together?
We went to our second therapy session together. I felt bombarded with questions from the therapist. Although these question sessions are highly uncomfortable, they do push us to unexpected places.

Did anything interesting happen?
I’m an overly curious person who questions everything from the workings of the universe to what’s in my morning latte. I like to keep questioning, it keeps me learning. However I know I can take it too far and overanalyze things. When I can’t figure something out, it can drive me a little crazy!

Since our disagreement at the Ace Hotel the other night, I’ve been overanalyzing the situation. Does Tim have an interest in me romantically? If he does, will he make a move, or will I? Why is it so hard for him to figure out what he wants? Is he really what I want? Why am I becoming insecure? Is this project crazy? Is this project making me crazy?

Our therapist asked Tim about whether he wanted an intimate relationship with me, which spared me having to ask the question. He admitted he was interested, but that he was confused about what he wants. He became anxious, he hates any kind of pressure. I may have to accept that I won’t figure this one out anytime soon.

Did you learn anything new about Timothy?
Truthfully, I didn’t want to go to therapy today. I had a terrible headache and I am overwhelmed with work. The therapy session was emotionally draining, and afterwards I was feeling really down. Tim must have recognized this, as I came home after work to find this video in my inbox. It was super cute, and reminded me how perceptive he can be.

Did you learn anything new about yourself?
In therapy we discussed my family dynamic. Both my parents and my grandparents married in their early twenties and had long, loving, happy relationships. The therapist talked about how this can unconsciously create pressure.

ThePath

When I was younger, I did imagine following my family’s path. I really thought it was just like The Game of Life: I’d go to college, meet a nice boy there, get married to him in my twenties, and have kids by the time I was 30. However, I moved to New York, where it’s not as common for people to get married or have children in their twenties. I’m completely dedicated to my work right now, so I’m not sure what I want anymore.

How do you feel about this relationship/project right now?
I can’t deny that it’s been stressing me out a bit, but Tim’s video lifted my mood.

Is there anything that you want to do differently?
I talked about the future with my own therapist, and why I feel any sense of urgency or pressure. My therapist says it’s because I am a problem solver at heart. I am the kind of person that likes to figure things out, and I like things settled. I’m happy in most other aspects of my life, but romantic relationships is the one area thats been up in the air. He said I should accept the mystery of it all, and just enjoy the journey.

Additional comments?
Still a big grin on my face from the video Tim made me.

Day Eight   /   lettering by HORT

Timothy Goodman

Did you see Jessica today?
Yes.

What did y’all do together?
We had our second appointment with our therapist.

Did anything interesting happen?
I feel like Jocelyn was less intense with the questions this time. Jessie and I talked about our families, and how our own relationships have been affected by our parents’ relationships. We come from different family backgrounds, so we tend to think about things differently. I never met my biological father, and I grew up with two different step-fathers. Jessie’s parents are still happily together.

Jocelyn said we need to use our time with her as a “safe place” to talk about things openly. I was much more open discussing things today than Jessie, who seemed distant and removed. I know she’s very tired from dealing with a lot of stress at work. This project seems to only add another layer of stress to her life these days. I felt bad, so after therapy I went home and made her a little video.

Did you learn anything new about Jessica?
Jocelyn said this project is good for Jessie. She said that Jessie dislikes the discomfort or awkwardness in the beginning of a relationship, which is why she gets serious so fast. I guess I knew this, but the way the therapist described it really made me have an “aha moment.”

Did you learn anything new about yourself?
We talked about the boundaries I put up with the different relationships in my life. I am good at being a friend, and I’m good at jumping in and out of a woman’s life, but the emotional intimacy is where I’ve gone astray lately.

Boundaries

How do you feel about this relationship/project right now?
I’m totally fine with what’s going on between us, but I don’t think Jessie is. I can tell she wants more from me, even if she doesn’t say so.

Is there anything that you want to do differently?
The therapist asked me to try to give more intimacy to Jessie. I’m going to try. We just gotta keep on pushing!

Additional comments?
After therapy, I was thinking about my childhood. I was a scrappy kid, always looking for the thrill of doing something “bad.” When I was 10 years old, I started stealing my stepfather’s cigarettes and his old copies of Playboy. I would run into the garage and look at them with my friends in astonishment. It felt risky and grown-up. My favorite was the March 1989 issue with La Toya Jackson on the cover. I was a huge Michael Jackson fan as a kid and I found the La Toya issue to be so completely fascinating and dirty. Why would his sister pose nude for the whole world to see? Isn’t that embarrassing for Michael? And moreover, why was I so turned on by this?

playboy2