Day Six   /   lettering by John Fulbrook

Jessica Walsh

Did you see Timothy today?
Yes.

What did y’all do together?
We went to the Ace hotel for drinks with a few mutual friends.

Did anything interesting happen?
Earlier in the day I heard negative feedback from a few friends and colleagues about this experiment. They all want to know if Tim and I are “really dating.” They don’t believe that it can be a real relationship if we are not physically intimate. They think it’s a necessary part of the project. While I disagree, all the talk about sex and relationships did pique my curiosity as to what Tim’s interests in me are. Beyond admitting that he found me attractive in therapy, I haven’t sensed any desire from him to push it further.

I know from past experiences that I can be blind to these types of things. If a guy is interested in me, why can’t he just be straightforward about it?! I hate trying to interpret ambiguous messages and signals. I’m too old and too busy to play these dating games.

Tim must have been able to tell something was on my mind as he asked what was wrong. I shared some of the criticism I heard earlier. I told him I thought it would be fine if we did the entire experiment just as friends, but was open to possibilities. In retrospect, it was not the most opportune time to discuss this, since we had already had a few cocktails. Tim became defensive and argumentative. I think he felt pressured. I tried to talk him down and calm things down, but it felt as if he was misconstruing every word. Before we knew it, we were in our first fight.

intentionsactions

I’ve read that the source of most misunderstandings is that we judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions. I am sure Tim thought I was looking for answers, but I just wanted to talk things through. I’m just sorry I couldn’t explain myself more clearly tonight.

Did you learn anything new about Timothy?
Tim seems to enjoy conflict on some level.

Did you learn anything new about yourself?
I hate conflict, and avoid it at all costs. Probably to a fault.

How do you feel about this relationship/project right now?
After all this questioning about whether or not we are in a “real” relationship, I decided to look up the official definition. Gotta love Urban Dictionary.

relationships

Is there anything that you want to do differently?
I can’t let other peoples opinions bother me if I want to make it through these forty days. I need to go with my gut, it has always served me well in the past.

Additional comments?
Stefan (my business partner) left this on my desk. Hoping tomorrow will be better.

BeOptimisticBadge

Day Six   /   lettering by Rich Tu

Timothy Goodman

Did you see Jessica today?
Yes.

What did y’all do together?
I had to be at the Art Directors Club for a Young Guns meeting tonight, and we planned to meet up afterwards at the Ace Hotel with our mutual friends Michael and Dan.

AceHotelNew

Did anything interesting happen?
Michael and Dan left after a quick drink, so we stayed for another one with my friend Rich. I could feel some uneasy energy coming from her, so I asked her about it. Apparently some of her friends think this project is fake because we’re not in a “real relationship.” They all want to know if we are doing this project as friends, or if we’re doing it as a couple. Jessie was clearly bothered by it. It’s obviously something that she’d been thinking about as well.

I felt pressured to give her an answer, and we began to bicker about it. I don’t want to fulfill some idea that her friends have. That’s not what this is project is about. We already are friends, so why do we need to define it any further right now? I can’t just say “Voila!” and be in a relationship.

We left the Ace in a bit of a tiff. I walked her to a cab, and we gave each other a half-assed hug. Things felt super weird.

It was the first time Rich had heard about this project, so he asked us a ton of questions about it. Then he was contemplating whether or not we should be having sex, which made things a bit awkward. Anyway, he sent this old movie trailer to us afterwards. I can’t stand Jeff Bridges, but this is hilarious in context.

Did you learn anything new about Jessica?
She likes to define everything. She likes to doubt everything. I think she listens to her friends too much. This is an experiment — and you can’t really define an experiment until it’s finished, right? It’s like getting a brief from a client; a client gives you the parameters, and it’s up to you to play.

Did you learn anything new about yourself?
Her doubts make me doubt, which makes me anxious. I just want to have fun. I don’t need to define it all. Truth is, I probably could date Jessie in “real life” if I didn’t already know too much. I know how quickly she falls for guys, how fast she wants things to go. I have commitment issues as it is, so this scares me. I need to drive slow.

How do you feel about this relationship/project right now?
It’s fine, I just don’t feel great about it right this second.

Is there anything that you want to do differently?
I felt pressured tonight, but I need to react differently.

Additional comments?
Bad night, but at least we made some fun memories in the Ace Hotel photo booth!

PB