Jessica Walsh

Did you see Timothy today?

What did y’all do together?
He slept over from Monday night.

Did anything interesting happen?
I slept like a rock. As per usual, I gravitated towards the middle of the bed in a fetal position hugging my tempurpedic pillow. Sadly, Tim did not sleep as well, he was disturbed by the noises of garbage trucks outside my apartment. I’ve lived at my apartment for five years with insomnia, and I somehow failed to notice the garbage trucks until now. Now that he’s brought it to my attention, the noise seems constant! It’s like when you learn a new word, and suddenly you see and hear it everywhere. It was an interesting reminder how much we see and hear what we want to.


Around two AM, Tim woke me up in the middle of my REM cycle dream. I was dreaming that Tim and I were with my sister by the ocean. The world was going to end, and while I was aware of this, I didn’t want to tell them. I knew there was nothing that we could do to stop it, and I wanted them to enjoy their last moments on earth. I’ve never been afraid of death, and the dream seemed strangely peaceful.

Did you learn anything new about Timothy?
I like him naked. In the morning he took a shower, gave me a kiss goodbye, made a snide comment about my fancy toothpaste, and left for an early breakfast.


Did you learn anything new about yourself?
When I fell back to sleep, I began lucid dreaming. When this happens, I’m aware that I’m dreaming and I can manipulate what happens. This is one of my favorite experiences in life. I am fascinated by dream psychology, and how we can use dreams to make sense of our lives. As humans we often define what happens in our day-to-day life in the waking world as what is “real.” However, I find that anything that is conceived in the mind (consciously or unconsciously) can be real. Dreams and the musings of the imagination are more interesting than any day-to-day reality, as they are not bound by the constraints of waking life. Combining reality with the dream world makes things awesome. You can do whatever (or whomever!) you like! I taught myself how to lucid dream last year.

How do you feel about this relationship/project right now?
Feeling good!

Is there anything that you want to do differently?
I still haven’t been to Tim’s apartment, which made me think back to the commitment-phobia signs. I texted him asking when I’d get to stay over his place. I knew he was writing something after seeing the classic iPhone “…,” but he never sent a response. #sigh.


Additional comments?
I thought I moved to the right side of the bed, but apparently Tim remembers it otherwise. He sent me an illustrated diagram of his sleeping positions throughout the night. Such a weirdo! I like that.

Day Thirty-Five   /   lettering by Lenny Naar

Timothy Goodman

Did you see Jessica today?
Technically, yes.

What did y’all do together?
I slept over at her place last night. I rushed out of her apartment quickly because I was running late for a breakfast with my friend. I love meeting for breakfast in NYC.

Did anything interesting happen?
Jessie is an insomniac, and I usually sleep very well. But ironically, I had the worst night’s sleep ever. I was up all night tossing and turning. This NEVER happens with me. I can sleep through a tornado. Anyway, it was nice to stay over her place.

Did you learn anything new about Jessica?
Jessie slept directly in the middle of the bed the entire night. I literally don’t think she moved one time. She was a rock. I even tried to push her over, albeit unsuccessfully. It was horrible.


Did you learn anything new about yourself?
This never happens when I sleep at a woman’s house. Is this a bad omen? I mean, everything was bothering me last night: the city lights were coming in through the window shades, there was a loud garbage truck outside, the pillows felt hard, and her place felt unusually warm.

How do you feel about this relationship/project right now?
I feel better about our little fight last night. If there’s one thing Jessie and I are good about, it’s getting over things quickly.

Is there anything that you want to do differently?
Get some sleep tonight.

Additional comments?
I’ve been reading a book about the baseball player Pete Rose. He was sort of this mythical character when he played in Cincinnati. He was a throw-back to earlier times when ball players were iconic enough to make a difference in their own community. In many ways, he was a great man. Forever gracious and considerate to his community, particularly with blue collar folks. He was always giving to charity and he’d make sure he signed every piece of memorabilia for fans after games. He was the epitome of baseball for a long time.


He did, however, have two major shortcomings: he was an addictive gambler, and an compulsive perfectionist at work. He was a tragic character, who possessed a lot of good qualities — and a lot of destructive ones that eventually tainted his life, his reputation, and his good standing with the baseball community.

There are usually two reactions when it comes to Pete Rose. He’s good or he’s bad. He’s right or he’s wrong. He’s a nice guy or he’s an asshole. It’s natural to make these snap judgements, but why do we so easily dismiss someone as a two-dimensional character? We all carry a dichotomy, with grey areas in between. I suppose I’m trying to justify myself here in a way, but this experiment has made me confront so many things that I’ve tried to sweep under the rug. We shouldn’t judge someone based on one snapshot of their life, we should measure someone by the totality of their existence.