Day Twenty-Six   /   lettering by Vault 49

Jessica Walsh

Did you see Timothy today?

What did y’all do together?
He came over to my work studio today.

Did anything interesting happen?
We discussed where we might want to go for our weekend trip. Tim really wants to do a road trip. He suggested camping upstate. While I like the idea of going upstate, I don’t think this is the right time for it. We are coming off a long winter, and I really want to get some sun.

In therapy, we’ve discussed how Tim likes to be in control, and how I can be more passive. I spend all day making choices and decisions at the office, so the little decisions — where to go on a date, what bar to go to — seem trivial. I give input and ideas, but I don’t have the energy to debate him on what to do. I often just go with the flow. This drives Tim nuts, and he wishes I’d have more of an opinion about it. Sometimes I think Tim would be happy spending an hour disputing what appetizer we should order!

Making a decision on where to go for a weekend trip seemed like a good time to step up. I told him I’d like to go somewhere warm where we could relax and focus on each other. We went back and forth for an hour, but we couldn’t find a solution. A few hours later I went home to do some more work. I turned on my email and I found the most perfect suggestion from Tim. We’re going to Disney World! It seems like a perfect getaway to end this crazy roller coaster of a journey.


Did you learn anything new about Timothy?
Today I realized that besides our creative work, Tim and I don’t have much in common. Tim likes the woods. I like the beach. Tim likes to debate. I like to compromise. Tim likes to date around. I like meaningful relationships. Tim is great at saving money. I suck at it. Tim is excitable. I am calm. Tim reads about current events and politics. I read about psychology and art. Tim likes to watch basketball and stand-up comedy. I like to watch indie and foreign films. Tim likes jazz and hip hop. I like alternative and electronic. Tim loves drama. I hate drama. The list goes on!

They say opposites attract, and I can see why, especially in the beginning of a relationship. When I date someone with different interests or a different outlook, I inevitably experience new things and see new perspectives. These kinds of relationships can be challenging, but they can also be interesting and rewarding. But do opposites really work out?

I don’t think it’s necessary to share all interests, nor is it necessary to do everything together. I’ve always valued my alone time. Yet, from what I’ve noticed in my friends’ relationships, if they have nothing in common (or if they don’t develop shared interests), then these relationships eventually fall apart. While there are articles which support the opposites-attract theory, I have found many more by psychologists that support what is called similarity theory or balance theory.

Did you learn anything new about yourself?
I instantly fell in love with the idea of Disney World. I have to admit that I’m still a kid at heart.

How do you feel about this relationship/project right now?
Considering Tim suggested Disney World, he’s just a kid at heart, too. So I guess we have that in common!

Is there anything that you want to do differently?
I am glad we settled on a trip that we are both happy with. I guess relationships are all about the compromise, and letting go of the small differences.

Additional comments?
Day one of healthy living!

Timothy Goodman

Did you see Jessica today?

What did y’all do together?
We met at Jessie’s studio on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.

Did anything interesting happen?
Not particularly. We talked about where we should go for our weekend trip, since we only have two weeks left. Personally, I want to drive upstate, stay at a cute bed and breakfast on the Hudson River, and take in the fresh air. That’s my idea of a great weekend trip. Not Jessie. Jessie wants to go to Mexico and chill out on the beach. Which is great when you’re worn out and you just need a vacation. I’m just too active for that right now. I want an adventure. I want a bonding experience. I want to listen to a vacation mix!

Jessie’s resistance to my idea reminded me of an old Sex and the City episode. In the episode, Carrie is forced to go upstate to her boyfriend’s country house, where she freaks out about nature. (Yes, I know about this. And YES, Aidan was the best.) That’s Jessie — a Manhattan girl through and through. You can’t hike in high heels, Jessie!

Did you learn anything new about Jessica?
She gets dismissive sometimes. She gives me a hard time, but she can get wishy-washy if she doesn’t 100% like something. Neither of us should have to compromise on a weekend trip, though. We both should be excited about this. When I got home, I had this random idea. Considering all the ups and downs, it only seemed fitting that we do something crazy wonderful. Disney World, holla!


Did you learn anything new about yourself?
I already knew this, but I really do love the unexpected.

How do you feel about this relationship/project right now?
I’m worried that she could be over-thinking the sex the other night. I hope she’s not, I’m having a good time with everything.

Is there anything that you want to do differently?
No, not today.

Additional comments?
Jessie is having dinner tonight with our friend who wanted me to stop the project a couple weeks ago. I’m a bit worried.